At the end of the day we're all the same

I look at my life and my drama unfolds

I walk onto my stage and I continue to play the part of the one with less than everyone else

I see people with nicer well-furnished, neat homes

Everyone else has a higher education, status

I see people taking several classes while they have kids to take care of, jobs to work - working 24 hour a days, seven days a week doing stunning tasks while I am having troubles with my own limited tasks

Everyone else is doing something, but here I am stuck

I look at myself as a fraud, unable to play the part I am assigned to play, I should know more, do more than I am, I should be the expert and instead I feel ignorant while everyone around me has knowledge, I know nothing

And then - there is the flip side of all of this

Maybe this script is unfolding as a way for me to defeat myself

I constantly run into the illusion that I am less than another, when in reality there is no way that one can be less than another

We all breath the same air, eat the same food, drink water, sleep, defecate, urinate

We are all part of the one great spirit separated into many different cells, and our separation is an illusion

Maybe if I could talk to one of these others who appear to have more than what I do they would speak differently

Maybe one of them would say - this knowledge that I have - this piece of paper that states I have a "degree", an amount of education, that separates me from you is nothing but a lie

It is an award stating that I have jumped through hoops, forced my mind to go bulimic with knowledge so that I can memorize it for a test, vomit it all out and then forget it all within a year

What piece of paper can really claim that one has obtained knowledge - especially knowledge which continues to slip away and be forgotten

Who among us can claim to really know anything of substance, when in comparison to the vast infinite realms of knowledge that none of us can really ever know or have - we are all equally ignorant

Who is to say that a man who can make food come out of the ground from a seed is any more or less special than a man qualified to argue a case in front of a courtroom, or to prescribe pills for another's illness

Who is to say that a woman armed with scientific knowledge but unable to take care of her own soul spirit is any more accomplished than another who can nourish helpless animals that come in from the cold

Who is to say that the house or home I claim to call my own sets me apart from another who cannot make that claim, when tomorrow my house maybe decimated by flood, fire, wind, water or disaster and set me out on the street

Who is to say that I really can make a claim to own anyone or anything, when every day I spend alive maybe my last - without warning - it can all be taken away

How many who are going to quickly and suddenly die today without any hint or warning even had any hint it was coming, and if they did would they have lived their last day the way they did

Knowledge is a beautiful thing when people use it to take care of themselves and others

The only knowledge of any value is the knowledge of knowing love - how to love one's self, and to love others

I look at the wounded victim in the mirror, the one who I constantly judge for not being somebody else with the illusion of more and I embrace her for being just who she is

I look at her with love and I see the warmth coming out of her heart

I realize that I am here to help her, guide her, and love her - not to judge her or condemn her for being something she is not

I realize that she is a product of a past she cannot control, an "innocent victim of circumstance and coincidence" (Annette Peacock) and that I cannot blame her for what she is now

I release her from her past

I release her from my expectation that she should be anything other than who she is, that she should know anything more than she does, or have anything more than she has

I see she is the most beautiful shining being on the planet because her life is the life I am living

I see that my part in the script that continues to unfold in front of me does not have to be the part of the doomed victim, and that I can empower her to be the beautiful, confident warm being that is hiding underneath that frightened mask

I look at her and know that the tasks in front of me that terrify me when I face them and see them for what they are, beyond the the mask of fear, self-judgement, self-deprecation and shame are tasks that I can and will accomplish

I do not blame myself for a question that I cannot answer - I am not afraid to say I don't know but I can obtain the answer

I realize that knowledge is available to all of us and that I can do anything anyone else can, and know anything anybody else knows

I see that the only true knowledge is to become one with the warm, beautiful, loving Goddess, crone, grandmother spirit that burns like a fire in my heart, and encourages me to be the best that I can be

I shed my negativity, my fears, my feeling like I am a victim, my feeling that all are better than I am and realize that I have been lying to myself in my judgments for not having a higher degree or a higher social status

I know that the spirit and flame within my soul is the only possession I can ever have, within the parameters of my own life, and to live my day today as if it were my last I must completely embrace and nourish her, and let her be just who she is - so that when the day comes when I do part with my body I will be ready to fly to the great beyond and know that I have served my appointed task here with pride - to know that I have loved myself and loved those around me to the highest of my ability - a task that transcends knowledge, status, and possessions that are all fleeting, illusory and temporary

I look into the mirror and see that all of the medicine I need is my faith in myself

I look inside and realize that one small step at a time, I can do it - I can be there for others, I can continue to play the role of student and teacher simultaneously, that I can and will be the force of spirit and love for myself and those around me

I look a myself and say these simple words - I love you, I forgive you, I accept you, I allow you to be nothing more and less than just who you are

I embrace the divine miracle that is my life, the life appointed to me by the great Goddess spirit, the life that she gave me to be my own - a life that to call a curse is an ungrateful insult for the beautiful gift she has placed upon my existence

I promise to make my remaining days here a thank you in gratitude for the gift I have received