Were you born an ass-hole?

See the cut up version of the song on You Tube

"Were you born an ass-hole
Or did you work at it your whole life
Either way it worked out fine
Cus you're an ass-hole tonight
Yes you're an A-S-S-H-O-L-E
And don't you try to blame it on me
You deserve all the credit
You're an ass-hole tonight"

(George Jones??)

One of my best friends, Youndy, told me I need to forgive my parents. In Unstuck it is recommended too - and I agree - forgiveness, though often monumentally difficult to achieve - is a high state of awareness. My last song about It's Over - although it does not mention forgiveness in particular, preaches the idea of moving on and not reliving the past over and over until the point of nausea. After all - today is here, and the past is gone. So the problem for me is that when the people you are trying to forgive - are just plain ass-holes. I am not stating this out of anger, but just out of plain objective fact. All my siblings at least ackknowledged me on my birthday, but my ass-hole parents did not - which is their choice - or at least their ass-holish way of making a statement that they are not speaking to me because of my little review of their ass-hole fest on the ocean back in July. (Card finally came - a day late - signed "MOTHER AND FATHER" - no "love" so I do stand corrected, but they are still ass-holes anyways). My mom did take me to the doctor when I needed to go, fed me, and clothed me - I'll give her that - but she was still a chronic ass-hole. She was an ass-hole when she - whacked out of her mind - drove me to the shrink and told me she couldn't believe one of her kids was going to a shrink. She has been a chronic ass-hole to all the in-laws, although one through the amazing use of smoke and mirrors has won her over, the remainder of us have seen her in her full ass-hole state. And my parents were ass-holes by pressuring me to go on the ass-hole fest, even when I didn't want to go and gave them the option of just having Sara and Victoria go. No they had to be ass-holes and insist on me going. So if they're crying about all the money they spent, well - they are ass-holes and that is just ass-hole karma. They were ass-holes by telling us we couldn't stay with them on night one, but allowing other more favorable members of the family to stay.

And I know I am an ass-hole too - "ladies you can be an ass-hole too" in the words of Frank Zappa. Growing up in a family of ass-holes, raised by ass-holes, how could I not be one? My younger brother saw me as a real ass-hole, and then spent the rest of his life being an ass-hole to me to compensate.

So I am not here to convince anyone we are a family of ass-holes, because as far as I'm concerned it's a given. My question is more - how do you use the forgiveness exercise as listed in Unstuck when in fact it is being applied to an ass-hole? So here is my solution:

Get into meditative position - breathe in - breathe out - imagine the ass-hole that you are trying to forgive. Listen ass-hole - I know you are an ass-hole - I am not going to deny it - I mean who can deny, you can't deny it's not just a change in ass-hole style. More - I just see it is your God-given task on this planet to be an ass-hole - it's in your ass-hole nature - and I forgive you for being an ass-hole. You just can't help yourself. I forgive you - ass-hole - for being an ass-hole and hope that even though I have inherited your ass-holeness from you that I don't have to be as much of an ass-hole as you are. You are forgiven - ass-hole. See the ass-hole - become one with the ass-hole - exchange the light with the ass-hole and see you and the ass-hole covered in a pool of brilliant white light. Feel compassion for the ass-hole - s/he did not chooose to be one, karma chose it for him/her. The ass-hole is living out his/her destiny. Breathe in - breathe out - repeat - doesn't that feel much better now.