Did you only need me for those three days

You say there's always gonna be this thing
Between us days are filled with dreams
Scorpions crawl across my screen
Make their home beneath my skin
Underneath my dress stick their tongues
Bite through the flesh down to the bone
And I have been so fuckin' alone
Since those three days
Did you only want me for those three days?
Did you only need me for those three days?
Did you love me foreverjust for those three days?

by Lucinda Williams

Is it possible to have PTSD from 3 days on a cruise? Dan wrote about having something like that after hiking 2600 miles - so why would 3 days on a fucking boat do that - unless it was exposure to the family that did it to me. But here I am - the summer - a time I normally enjoy - seems to be getting me down. Every day gets a little further away from the event, but every day is not quite far enough. The folks and I are back to not speaking to each other again - all of the cruise stuff I posted on My Space and I don't think they are too happy about it. They are pissed off that I am not grateful for subjecting me to this nightmare since they funded it. Meanwhile, all sorts of painful shit - like the stuff with my brother in the last post has come up - and the best way for me to deal with the majority of my family - is just to keep them as far away from me as I can - physically and mentally. How could have anyone possibly imagined a possible worse setting for a dreaded gathering to take place than on a fucking cruise line. It's like God wanted to make it as bad as possible. I got some pics in the mail from Edie yesterday (surprise surpise - I am not in a single one of them). It appears the in crowd was spending a lot of time together. Surprisingly nobody seemed to invite us to any of these gatherings - not that we would have necessarily wanted to come. If not for Sara running into them, she would not have been either. I just want to know - how 3 fucking days - preparing for them, and now recovering from them - could have fucked me up so much.

I know I know - gotta be like some and family who just let it come and go and just don't let it get to them. I wish anyways. Just not who I am. Still - every day it is a little further behind me.